Calm before the Storm

Its been a pretty quiet week.. and I think as I head to takayama this week it will be another quiet week... Good before Golden Week Mayham!!!!!! I'm spending SO much money to travel only so far for like 10 days... but I told myself I'm not here to make money... so... here I go!! HAHA To even push myself further I made sure I tithed 10% this week for the money... lots of money actually 10%... AND I'm thinking of buying a Nintendo DS... its so big here... they have so many practical games and programs for adults... like dictionaries and those point and speak books... and more brain games... I'm also looking at childrens games perhaps test my japanese... hehehehe... so that means more money.. but not yet I guess... they're SOLD out still here... crazy eh?... so much stock elsewhere but in japan it sucks when something is popular.. they get it last...I want that light turquise one... ohhhh I want that one.....

Moral?... errr I'm learning to let go of my money?.. you'd think that'd be an easy thing to do eh?...

I think as I'm planning out the upcoming months (family visiting at the end of June!!! Hope I get that week off!!! Surviving insane summer here... It was SO humid the other day too, and I felt sick then... then I remembered that the summer is like that with 30 something degrees....)
I'm already thinking again of what I will be doing when I return.. there's a big fear I have to face of the really NOT knowing what I can do when I get back.. I think as I've taught here... I've learned that I don't think I want to become a teacher... I like teaching and care for children very much... but I'm not happy being the teacher thats only okay at my job and children disliking me because I'm the teacher... heheheh..... If I were a teacher I want to be a better one than that... I don't think I can... be that...
But I'm seriously interested in a job regarding children in some way... perhaps some organization that deals with children - on the administrative side, or some volunteer programs... or community centers?!.. I don't know actually... I just know I'll be starting probably with lower pay than I'm getting here.. but then I will be living at home and not paying ridiculous rent like here.... I wonder how ppl become paper pushers for the Vancouver School Board?! hahahah... A part of me is screaming 'I want to be lazy too' as I know there are aspects of the admin job I'm going to hate... like making phone calls to people... errr... anything beats working for my family... not that I don't like the job - its quite interesting - its just that I HATE working with my family.. there's too much pressure to perform - not from them but for myself.. I don't want to fail my family... and live with them... and work for them... EWWWWWWWW no matter now much they drop the idea of "taking over the family business" I REALLY refuse to do it... especially anytime in the near future... like the next 5 years minimum... tooo stressssfullll also I need to face the real world sometime... see if I can work away from my family... yes...

One thing I've really learned being away from home is that its really nice take a break from being the giver in the family... hahah you know how there are givers and takers in the family... I'm a giver.... and its nice to not have to feel guilty or bad for not giving... heheheh.... just for a while.... I need a break... I'm also learning to be on my own too... or rather relying on God - because only recently have I've been praying for teaching agian... and acutally enjoying it again... before I was getting tired.. felt like I had no impact on the children.. but God gave me peace, energy and persistence.... but my family is getting used to being on their own too hehehe....

oyeeeee... more ramblings for later :D

Ohh my friend lent me a book on japanese culture... how cool is this word? Karoshi! Overwork Death... hahhaha
"Sudden deaths of workers who have been working excessively. This is a result of patience and diligence having a negative effect. This phenomenon became obvious in the 1980s and "karoshi" is now a widely known word outside of Japan."

GO CANUCKS GO!!! ROUND 2!!!!!!!!!!!